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Reader asks ,what if it were your Kid?

Ridgewood Police at RHS

file photo by Boyd Loving

These questions from a commenter to an earlier post still seem important:

what if a girl texted naked photos of herself to 2 freshman? What if one of the freshmen was bi-racial and the other was small for his age? What if the girl who texted these naked pictures had a boyfriend in 11th grade, that was REALLY mad that someone had pics of his gal? What if the girls boyfriend, a Junior born and bred in Ridgewood, challenged the small freshman to a fight and taunted him via social media. What if the other freshman, who also received the naked pics from this girl, came to his smaller friends defense because of the disparity in size between the two boys? What if the Junior then called him a Nigger. Over and over again, called him a Nigger and challenged him to a fight, on social media with everyone standing by. What if this freshman accepted, who had been called a Nigger on social media over and over again, accepted the challenge to fight and met the Junior? And what if, when the freshman showed up, not only was the Junior there and ready to fight, but 40 of his closest friends armed with their phones video taping? What if the wrestling team wasn’t there? What if there was a fight and the freshman, the “Nigger” punched twice, and the second punch knocked the Junior flat on his back? What if the Juniors friends were cheering and videotaping? What if the Junior’s friends chased the “nigger” off the field instead of calling 911? What if the Junior came home and was unable to share the truth with his family, because he was ashamed and embarrassed? And what if, he embellished the truth to save face? What if an enraged and upset Aunt posted the Juniors embellished story on Facebook? What if we all believed the “story” because the media picked it up and what if there was a modern day lynching of this so called “brutal animal” on social media because we believe anything that’s posted, must be true? What if the Juniors grandfather misspoke at the BOE meeting indicating the “victim” didn’t know the attacker, but yet a simple Facebook search could indicate otherwise? What if we blamed the BOE for not expelling the brutal animal immediately when quite possibly he could be the victim? What if it were your kid?

27 thoughts on “Reader asks ,what if it were your Kid?

  1. And there you have it.

  2. That’s the true story as I know it too.

  3. Well Ridgewood ?
    Where is the outrage with regards to THE GIRL posting naked photos in the first place?
    Where is the accountability with regards to the girl?
    Anyone? Anyone of Ridgewoods finest citizens who partisapated in this lynching available to explain your actions?
    Please crawl back under the rock whence you came.

  4. Well written. Also agree with 9:24 about accountability of the girl

  5. What if said freshman girl never sent nude photos of herself to ANYONE? What if the parties receiving the photos went to a parent or school administer? What if the boyfriend was REALLY mad the that nude pics of his girlfriend were circulating? He SHOULD be mad at his girlfriend for sending them in the first place! What if one of those frosh boys went to a parent or school official and told them they were being bullied, being asked to fight and having inappropriate racial slurs directed towards them? What if one of those boys decided not to show for any of those fights? What if just one of the children who attended and went and video taped the said fight went to a parent, school administrator or better yet the police? There are a lot of what ifs, but none of this would have happened if just one child involved made the right choice. We are humans. We make mistakes. We try to do right in raising are kids. There are at least two sides to every story and as I see it BOTH were wrong. The outcome is bad and the only good to be taken away is to learn how to move forward so something like this doesn’t happen again. It is time as a community to stop putting the blame on someone else. We should teach are children that they shouldn’t be afraid to come to us for help. You can’t blame the President of the country, the Superintendent of schools, or the Principals. The only blame is on us. We need to teach our kids right from wrong. We need to teach them that we are on their side. We need to let them know we are listening and not to be afraid. We need to let them know that bad choices have bad consequences. Yes, this could have been any of our kids.

  6. what if this is not the entire story…. (it isn’t)

  7. That’s my understanding of the story too…

  8. “Where is the accountability with regards to the girl?” Gender Equity does not apply for this case in Ridgewood.

  9. Was this a Bias Incident ?

  10. now it starts to sound a lot like a bias crime even though this is missing a few facts, it is broadly the closest to what happened…

  11. what if someone posted a pro-freshman “what if” scenario (which left out everything negative pertaining to the freshmen) in response to a pro-junior “what if” scenario (which left out everything negative pertaining to the junior)?
    pretty much more of the same.
    just another attempt to sway public opinion by stating some details but excluding others.

  12. OMG… this is NOT a bias crime.

  13. That’s a conclusion, not an argument, 12:58pm. What are the reasons for your conclusion?

  14. Like I said Ridgewood is going down

  15. 2C:16-1 Bias intimidation.

    2C:16-1. Bias Intimidation.

    a.Bias Intimidation. A person is guilty of the crime of bias intimidation if he commits, attempts to commit, conspires with another to commit, or threatens the immediate commission of an offense specified in chapters 11 through 18 of Title 2C of the New Jersey Statutes; N.J.S.2C:33-4; N.J.S.2C:39-3; N.J.S.2C:39-4 or N.J.S.2C:39-5,

    (1)with a purpose to intimidate an individual or group of individuals because of race, color, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, or ethnicity; or

    (2)knowing that the conduct constituting the offense would cause an individual or group of individuals to be intimidated because of race, color, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, or ethnicity; or

    (3)under circumstances that caused any victim of the underlying offense to be intimidated and the victim, considering the manner in which the offense was committed, reasonably believed either that (a) the offense was committed with a purpose to intimidate the victim or any person or entity in whose welfare the victim is interested because of race, color, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, or ethnicity, or (b) the victim or the victim’s property was selected to be the target of the offense because of the victim’s race, color, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, or ethnicity.

    b.Permissive inference concerning selection of targeted person or property. Proof that the target of the underlying offense was selected by the defendant, or by another acting in concert with the defendant, because of race, color, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, or ethnicity shall give rise to a permissive inference by the trier of fact that the defendant acted with a purpose to intimidate an individual or group of individuals because of race, color, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, or ethnicity.

    c.Grading. Bias intimidation is a crime of the fourth degree if the underlying offense referred to in subsection a. is a disorderly persons offense or petty disorderly persons offense. Otherwise, bias intimidation is a crime one degree higher than the most serious underlying crime referred to in subsection a., except that where the underlying crime is a crime of the first degree, bias intimidation is a first-degree crime and the defendant upon conviction thereof may, notwithstanding the provisions of paragraph (1) of subsection a. of N.J.S.2C:43-6, be sentenced to an ordinary term of imprisonment between 15 years and 30 years, with a presumptive term of 20 years.

    d.Gender exemption in sexual offense prosecutions. It shall not be a violation of subsection a. if the underlying criminal offense is a violation of chapter 14 of Title 2C of the New Jersey Statutes and the circumstance specified in paragraph (1), (2) or (3) of subsection a. of this section is based solely upon the gender of the victim.

    e.Merger. Notwithstanding the provisions of N.J.S.2C:1-8 or any other provision of law, a conviction for bias intimidation shall not merge with a conviction of any of the underlying offenses referred to in subsection a. of this section, nor shall any conviction for such underlying offense merge with a conviction for bias intimidation. The court shall impose separate sentences upon a conviction for bias intimidation and a conviction of any underlying offense.

    f.Additional Penalties. In addition to any fine imposed pursuant to N.J.S.2C:43-3 or any term of imprisonment imposed pursuant to N.J.S.2C:43-6, a court may order a person convicted of bias intimidation to one or more of the following:

    (1)complete a class or program on sensitivity to diverse communities, or other similar training in the area of civil rights;

    (2)complete a counseling program intended to reduce the tendency toward violent and antisocial behavior; and

    (3)make payments or other compensation to a community-based program or local agency that provides services to victims of bias intimidation.

    g.As used in this section “gender identity or expression” means having or being perceived as having a gender related identity or expression whether or not stereotypically associated with a person’s assigned sex at birth.

    h.It shall not be a defense to a prosecution for a crime under this section that the defendant was mistaken as to the race, color, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, national origin, or ethnicity of the victim.

  16. What if people drew all their opinions and conclusions from what they read on social media?

  17. What if interested parties tried to pollute social media early on with deliberate misinformation and fake news only to find that, given time, the truth wins out (even on social media)?

  18. a sad day with your story of what if the parents of the children (minors) need to deal with these problems NOT YOU in the press may i suggest you find something nice to write about it would be refreshing

  19. Years ago with the advent of email I remember reading many times that you should never send a message that you would mind seeing on the “Zipper” (news flashing across top of building in Times Square). More true now than ever.

    Time to inform all children starting in grammar school that anything they send to anyone over the internet or email may very well come back to haunt them, if not immediately (as here) then when they are applying for college or jobs or whatever…JUST DO NOT DO IT, chillun. (Or adults.) Determined to show somebody a nude photo of yourself or of you doing things the world shouldn’t know about? Meet them in person, show it to them, and take it back. If you must.

  20. Diane may I suggest that you don’t come to this site again.

  21. Astonished that people here are suggesting the girl be punished. She didn’t ask these boys to punch each other…… that’s all on them.

  22. This article may have the highest n-word count since Jay Z’s “The Story of OJ.”

  23. 9:41, agreed. She showed very poor judgment, but I don’t think she did anything criminal. Not sure if she violated the school’s code of coding or social media policy though. So now we have 2 very one sided stories out there, except the juniors family put their name behind it. I don’t think the freshman’s family has officially commented and I think it’s smart for them to stay quiet. My question is, if there is a bias crime, why wasn’t it charged? Possibly because the freshman doesn’t have proof or none of the other freshman parents want their children to have to testify in court.

  24. I wonder when the lawsuits will start flying. Wouldn’t the freshman have a libel claim against the junior’s relatives, assuming their version is not accurate to the word? What about all the other students, the wrestling team etc who were portrayed as heartless animals enjoying the show of a poor little gently boy being beaten to death?

  25. The girl is question is the reason why these two boys are in the situation they are. Without her sending such pictures, there would be no issue. Where are her morals….her parents? Where does she stand in all of this? Look what happened to the girl, who pushed her boyfriend to commit suicide. She was held accountable . While she may not have thrown any punches, sending nude photos or provacative ( as I have heard) of herself is what started this brutality. Being called a nigger… disgusting to say the least. A child ( the freshman) was being bullied by an older kid, being called a nigger and so on. He was standing up for himself and his rights! As for the Aunt, Uncle and elder Krause, shame on them for spreading a story that doesnt hold all the truth, or anything near it. Shame on them for putting false reports out there and causing an uproar on social media. Shame on the alumni in our community for believeing such a story without hearing the other side. Shame on the alumni community for bashing the minor and his family. What if the RPD held the family accountable for posting an inaccurate story and trying to ruin a minors life. The junior called the first fight, and then called another since he “lost the first. If someone called my child a nigger or any other racial slur, Id press charges and take it to the top. Lets point the blame in the right direction, starting with the girl, and then working our way to the junior and his family. They are the reasons, this event happened. And the family, for spreading false information. Perhaps it is the junior who ultimately is the “thug” as worded by Aunt Krause. As for the freshmans family, I applaude them for not sharing their story, and doing it properly! That is in the hands of the RPD. And I support them in the fullest!

  26. Suddenly there is talk of ‘community’ and ‘keeping thing out of press’ and ‘children and parents sorting it out.’

    Meanwhile just last week, a lynch mob was being riled up to break down doors, handcuff, imprison, institutionalize, expel at least 50+ high school kids.. err psycho animals and thugs. And a LOT of Ridgewood residents – both present and past – were in full agreement, whether they knew the first thing about the ‘incident’ or not.

    I wonder what changed!

  27. 2:58 I agree.
    And from what I hear the girls parents don’t care want it hushed and swept away so that it does not damage the rep of the restaurant they run or own in town. Really important right?
    There’s accountability on all sides.

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