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Park Ridge Police Department Unveils Revolutionary Strategic Unit: Tactical Iguanas!

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the staff of the Ridgewood blog
Park Ridge NJ, on April 1, 2024 the Park Ridge Police Department announced the groundbreaking addition of a revolutionary new asset to its Strategic Unit: highly trained tactical iguanas. After months of rigorous testing and development, the department has successfully integrated these remarkable reptiles into its law enforcement operations.

Chief Joseph Rampolla, in a press conference held this morning, unveiled “Scales” and “Spike,” two specially trained iguanas capable of detecting both narcotics and explosives with an accuracy rate 10% higher than traditional canine units. “This is a new revolutionary way to utilize iguanas as drug detection animals at a fraction of the cost,” Chief Rampolla stated. “We’ve found that iguanas possess an incredibly keen sense of smell, far surpassing our initial expectations.”
The department’s research indicates that iguanas require only half the training time of traditional police dogs, resulting in significant cost savings. Furthermore, the purchase and maintenance of iguanas are considerably less expensive than that of canines.
To accommodate these unique officers, the department has retrofitted patrol vehicles with custom-built, climate-controlled tanks. “During the summer months, the iguanas thrive in the heat, making our patrol cars the perfect environment,” Officer Abril Fuels explained. “Their natural affinity for warm environments has turned out to be a major advantage.”
The iguanas’ exceptional abilities have already proven invaluable in several simulated exercises, demonstrating their proficiency in detecting a wide range of contraband. The department is confident that these scaly recruits will significantly enhance public safety and crime prevention efforts in Park Ridge.
The Park Ridge Police Department is proud to be at the forefront of innovative law enforcement techniques and looks forward to the continued success of its new reptilian partners.
Contact: Officer Abril Fuels – Park Ridge Police Department (201) 555-5400 [Email – AFuelss@ParkRidgePolice.com] (April Fools)
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