How to Set Boundaries in Casual Relationships

Not only is the phenomenon of casual dating not losing its relevance these days, but on the contrary, it continues to gain momentum. Year after year, no-strings-attached relationships (or NSA) become increasingly tightly integrated into modern man’s life. That is why today, a large part of younger people, whose day is scheduled down to the minute, not only prefer brief sexual encounters with no feelings involved but also constantly look for new ways to make the process of seeking casual partners quick and convenient.

Some prefer NSA because it doesn’t require them to commit, and they find this kind of arrangement easier to maintain in general. Some don’t feel ready to give up other aspects of life that can’t be combined with a serious relationship and thus prefer to keep things casual. And some are just afraid of the whole “committing” thing. No matter what your reasons are, to ensure your NSA relationship works in your favor, you must know how to set boundaries.

Main Differences Between Committed and Non-Committed Dating

To know where you should draw the line, you have to learn to identify which of your hookup partner’s behavioral markers are considered “over-the-top” and which are the norm for a non-committed relationship.

In simple terms, the main difference between a serious relationship and an NSA one is the absence or presence of joint plans for the future. Of course, everyone sets their own rules, but people who date without commitment never mix their personal life outside the arrangement and what happens between them and their casual partner.

Online Dating Gives You Full Control Over the Situation

If you have recently started trying out casual dating and are afraid of making a mistake, your best bet is to keep your casual partners at a distance. This way, you can avoid getting too close to them too quickly. The easiest way to do this is to move your naughty hookups from social media to a casual dating site.

Using online dating as a tool for arranging and keeping your NSA flings gives you several advantages.

– First, communicating with your partners remains more “official” than personal, as if you were communicating with them on social media (which means you are thereby mixing your personal life and your flings).

– Secondly, if you prefer to have multiple hookup partners (this reduces the chances of getting attached to the ones you sleep with, which is a good thing), it’s much easier to keep them separate on a dedicated platform because casual dating sites are literally made for this.

– And thirdly, as a little bonus for beginners, finding casual flings on a special platform is much faster and more convenient than trying to pick someone up in a local bar or club. And having used a casual dating site at least once, you will quickly see the difference.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Now, it’s time to set boundaries. Remember the most important thing: any boundaries in an NSA relationship must be healthy, that is, boundaries that suit both partners. You can’t ask your partner to follow your rules if they don’t suit them. It means you’re better off finding someone with whom you will be on the same wavelength in this regard.

– Understand your own boundaries

Before you set any boundaries, you must be clear about what is acceptable to you in an NSA relationship and what is not. A clear understanding of your own boundaries will allow you to articulate them correctly, which will help your partner better understand you.

For example: do you think kissing should be part of your relationship? Are you willing to meet your partner somewhere other than the bedroom? Will your encounters take place at either of your apartments or on neutral ground? Think about all the details before you voice them to your casual partner.

– Communicate with your partner

Once you have a list of things that are unacceptable to you, it’s time to discuss them. Dialogue with the person you have a casual relationship with is the second main point of any NSA relationship. You need to get their opinion and understand where your views agree and where there is conflict.

You may prefer not to kiss casual partners, and your current sex buddy can’t imagine sex without kissing. Such things should always be discussed in advance and as thoroughly as possible.

– Stick to your boundaries

We all have our unshakable principles, but there are also things we are willing to compromise. When discussing boundaries, you are bound to have both points where your views are identical and moments where you have to decide what is more important – your principles or the desires of your casual partner.

And this is another difference between a serious relationship and a casual one. When we commit, we are willing to make concessions in order to make the other person happy, but in an NSA relationship, it’s not so important. Especially when it’s purely an intimate agreement.

So if some things are unacceptable for you in an intimate relationship, but your partner insists that you change your principles in their favor, it’s a sign that this person is not right for you. Stick to your boundaries so you can have only positive experiences when dating casually.

Reassess and Adjust Boundaries as Needed

Of course, all these agreements and boundary discussions are not a contract on paper (unless you actually want to sign one). It means that the rules may change depending on how your NSA relationship develops. As you meet, there will be moments that will cause you to reconsider one rule or another. Therefore, you should always remain open to discussing and changing your agreement.

You may want to move your dates from hotels to your apartment. You may want to add encounters that don’t involve intimacy. At the end of the day, your casual relationship may evolve into a “friends with benefits” thing because sex doesn’t always lead to exactly romantic feelings.

Be that as it may, it is what makes casual relationships ideal for people with any goals. So tailor them to you, talk to your partner, and let your NSA relationship bring you only positive emotions.