Question: What do you call a person who rushes to the scene of an unfolding fight, starts recording video and still images of same without otherwise getting involved or trying to de-escalate the situation or protect the person who lost the fight?
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Answer: A reporter!
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The district wants to restrict the spread of facts. It does not want the truth of the matter to be revealed. It is now scrambling to literally bully and thresten all students from telling their parents or the news media what they know, or from showing the fight video to anyone the district doesn’t want to see it.
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Law enforcement in Las Vegas was busy confiscating concert-goers’ cell phones in the immediate aftermath of the Mandalay Bay shooting. Why did they do this? To delete any and video of the “incident” from those cell phoned so they could take control of the “narrative”, and start spreading disinformation and propaganda. This cap has got to stop.
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Disagree. The actual fight was all of ten seconds and everyone already knows the very unfortunate outcome. What is being determined is what transpired leading up to these fights including the extent of any participants and any aftermath.The scope of investigations is wider and should result in a factual narrative which some seem resistant to despite their understandable outcry
Here, Fixed it fer ya…
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Question: What do you call a person who rushes to the scene of an unfolding fight, starts recording video and still images of same without otherwise getting involved or trying to de-escalate the situation or protect the person who lost the fight and then finds a way to blame it on Trump?
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Answer: A reporter!
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LOL 12:47pm, good one!
It’s the superintendant’s lazy use of the meaningless phrase “misuse of social media” that is so aggravating. How bad is it to capture and post a video of two people fighting in public, compared to threatening to distribute or actually distributing compromising photographs of a person taken in private? For the superintendent to lean so heavily toward condemning third party observers rather than dwell on the wrongdoing of the primary parties involved in the incident that extended over multiple days smacks of blame shifting. Why focus on such a red herring when there is real wrongdoing to address? This is nothing if not sanctimonious vitue signalling. When the superintendant does this he is not earning a dime of the 167k he is being paid.
Important Message from Dr. Gorman
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November 7, 2017
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Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s) and Students:
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Two weekends ago, a serious situation occurred involving Ridgewood High School students that is still being investigated by the high school administration and Ridgewood Police Department. The investigation will be resolved as quickly as possible and the consequences for those involved will be appropriate, educational, and, if need be, therapeutic. Because the situation involves minors, the details and consequences of the case cannot be shared and will remain confidential. To protect all RHS students, we ask the public to please refrain from comments, speculation, and judgment. Every day we are trusted by the community to educate the children of RHS, supervise them in their activities, and partner with the parents/guardians when they are in need. We ask you to continue to trust us in this situation to be diligent and thoughtful in our investigation and determination.
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The recent altercation that occurred after school hours but on school grounds, is greatly troubling and upsetting to us on many levels. It saddens me and the entire high school faculty that some RHS students did not use their best judgment regarding this situation. This event now gives us all a chance to pause and reflect upon what is truly important in life. We ask all parents/guardians to please engage in a meaningful conversation with their children and encourage them to be open and honest with you and/or the school about anything that may be on their minds.
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At RHS, we pride ourselves on being a family that shares many of the same values – friendship, trust, appreciation, caring, and open and honest communication. Whether as a member of a team, the band, a club, or an academic class, this is the students’ home away from home. We strive to make Ridgewood High School a safe and welcoming place for everyone.
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Unfortunately, some feel that they can say or do whatever they wish when there is no adult watching over their shoulder. Having this kind of attitude pays a disservice to their family, teachers, religious communities, and classmates here at school. Students know better and should expect better. Remember the Platinum Rule – treat others as they wish to be treated. We teach this to our students as soon as they enter our doors and I am sure it is taught in your homes.
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Parents, as adults we need to model responsible use of social media and to refrain from using disrespectful or threatening language online. We cannot expect our children to behave better than we do. What we are learning about this situation is that it centered around the misuse of social media on the part of some students. We ask parents to take an active role in monitoring their children’s use of social media and to partner with the schools to educate our students about this crucial issue.
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Students, when we adults cannot be with you and you are under your parents/guardians’ care, we expect you to uphold the same values that we, here at RHS, and your parents/guardians, have imparted to you. You are responsible for your actions in school and when you are under your parents/guardians’ care after school hours. In addition, we expect you to hold accountable others who are not living up to these same values. As John Wooden, a famous basketball coach, once said, “The truest test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”
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Social media posts that are malicious in nature can be psychologically damaging to all parties involved. Any such post should be reported immediately to an adult so that it can be addressed appropriately. We ask students not to participate in any negative chatter online through social media, to help monitor each other, and to stand up when someone fails to adhere to the value system we embrace when in the classrooms, halls, locker room, theater, or on the athletic fields. Finally, we ask you to keep an open and honest line of communication with the adults in this building. We are here to support you.
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Throughout a student’s experience at RHS, he or she will be exposed to many educational programs, academic lessons, and positive values and messages that reinforce what it means to be a RHS student. Such experiences include, but are not limited to, addressing all students at the beginning of each school year about HIB; participating in the #Day1 Tyler Clementi Foundation Upstander Pledge; exploring many student topics with peer counseling through Freshmen F.O.C.U.S.; educating all athletes about sportsmanship; teaching students about the dangers of texting and driving, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and vaping; teaching students through classroom lessons about respect, tolerance, and conflict resolution; and having students listen to guest speakers presenting first-hand accounts of genocide and the Holocaust. These offerings help to foster positive relationships between students and faculty, allowing students to feel comfortable sharing their problems with staff members. We believe that these programs also have reduced instances of bullying at Ridgewood High School.
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The policies and code of conduct that govern the high school are strong and have served us well. However, in light of recent events, we are revisiting them to determine if changes are necessary. Throughout many of the students’ classes at RHS, they are taught the proper protocols of technology and internet safety and responsibility. We will be revisiting these lessons and protocols to determine their effectiveness. We are also working with law enforcement officials to find appropriate future programs that can help further educate our students on the perils of bullying and harassment and how to stop volatile situations before they go too far.
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One of the school’s responsibilities is to ensure the safety and well-being of all the students and staff. When students experience problems, they are encouraged to seek out a teacher, counselor, or grade advisor. In addition to a student’s parents/guardians, these staff members are excellent resources from whom to get assistance on any issue. To ensure student success of all kinds, the school and community must work cooperatively to inspire and implement this shared vision.
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Sincerely,
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Thomas A. Gorman, Ed.D.
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Principal
Regarding this new letter….
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Even wordier than Fishbein’s letter but essentially the same.
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I guess the Ridgewood Schools administrators just can’t help themselves… they must feel compelled to paint with a broad brush and send a message blaming all of the students and the parents and everyone else rather than focusing on the small number of “offenders” (instigators, participants, recorders, watchers) by sending a positive message of “bad apples don’t spoil the bunch”.
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I guess if the only tool you have is a broad brush then every problem is treated as a whitewash of communal blame.
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From:
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https://www.platinumrule.com/whatistheplatinumrule.html
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What is the Platinum Rule? By Tony Alessandra
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More than 70 years ago, Dale Carnegie’s 14-week course called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” became a best-selling book that remained a New York Times bestseller for ten full years. Amazingly, the book continues to sell well and his premise of taking an active interest in other people and helping them achieve their goals remains as relevant today as it did during the days of Industrialized America!
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Many of Carnegie’s philosophies are (rightfully so) based on an age-old axiom known as “The Golden Rule”, which states: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” or “Treat others as you wish to be treated.” While we totally agree with The Golden Rule (particularly as it applies to ethics, values, morals and integrity), we have found that, if followed to the letter of the law, treating others as you wish to be treated can often backfire in one-on-one, interpersonal communications.
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The Platinum Rule is widely considered to be a more sensitive version of The Golden Rule. Simply stated, it tells us to “Treat others as they wish to be treated.” To do so, we must learn to view the world as others see it, to adapt our communication style to their behavioral style, to lead others in a way that motivates them to want to follow, to sell in a way that makes it comfortable for them to buy, and to embrace our differences while admiring the strengths in others.
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Unlike many other “personality typing” models, The Platinum Rule is a simple, two-step process for getting an accurate read on the behavioral style of any other person. Our process can be learned and applied within hours! By measuring the degree of another person’s assertiveness and warmth, you will be able to determine how quickly they will make decisions, where to focus the conversation and what landmines to avoid in every interaction. By adapting to Directors, Socializers, Relaters and Thinkers, you will eliminate interpersonal tension and build meaningful relationships at work… and at home!
Comment by Pointman lloyd 8/14/2006
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So I couldn’t help but comment on the Platinum Rule vs. the Golden Rule.
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When someone can actually live by the Golden Rule then I will be impressed with any additions to it.
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Two flaws I see in the logic of the Platinum Rule being more advanced than the Golden Rule that may spark some more conversation are these:
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1. The positive aspect of the Golden Rule is missed. It is not, “Don’t do unto others what you would not want them to do to you.” but, “Do unto others..” These are miles apart but I suspect that most people miss this who fancy themselves as keepers of it. Many can claim.. “Hey I don’t do anything to others I would not want done to me.” And so what’s the big deal? Who doesn’t except really base people.
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But think of all the things you would want done for you by others throughout life. If you were to actively pursue this as a course of life then my friend you are much better man than I. Though I aspire to the Golden Rule I find that this there is a whole realm of selfishness in my life. IN fact this is the point of the Golden Rule. It reveals how selfish we really are. That was Jesus’ point — that we would see we have a need for Him as Savior. To presume Jesus was attempting to give advice on “How to suceed in Corporate America” and then dispose of his words as inferior is rather amusing.
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2. Also, The Platinum Rule in practice appears to be more confined to what I “say” to others and not how I actually “treat” them even though the term “treat” is used.
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This reveals its greatest flaw. To use words (or actions) appropriate to your “subjects” to convince them you really care about them or that you are all together and they should trust you smacks of more selfishness not less.
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Now I understand that even to use the Golden Rule in this way would be equally disgusting but by nature the Golden Rule in its pure form would prevent this. Since You would not want to be deceived you could not feign such care to others for your advantage.
The Platinum Rule isn’t a religious book. It’s wholly secular and geared for supervisors who wish to understand their employees’ behavioral tendencies and improve how they interact with each other on the job. It profiles sixteen different business personalities, and provides a test to find out which type you are (the test takes only about 5 minutes). In short, by appreciating the different ways people like to be treated, and by slightly adapting ourselves according to whom we are dealing with, everyone gets along better and maintains self-esteem.
The fact that Gorman references “the platinum rule” says volumes about the decline of a Ridgewood education.
Here’s another warped piece of advice that originated from the amoral cesspit that is Corporate America (only to be cynically transplanted therefrom onto American national politics by erstwhile ballet dancer and Harvey Weinsten-type people abuser, Clinton Administration Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel):
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“Never let a crisis go to waste.”
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So much for the Platinum Rule. It’s a monster baby, happily delivered for our future misery by our nation’s most depraved corporate HR departments.
Correction: Obama Administration Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel.
Let me preface by saying what happened to this boy is extremely sad. Nobody should ever have to experience what he is going through.
Every single day we see bullying happening. Whether it is the current over protective idea of bullying or straight up bullying – this isn’t a new thing. Almost everyone on this site “bullies” other commenters on a daily basis, parents are bullying other parents on the Ridgewood Facebook group, other towns are bullying Ridgewood residents on social media by associating every Ridgewood resident with this incident and worse, grown adults are bullying the one who threw the punches to the extent of wishing the worst upon him without knowing the full story.
I’ve seen the expression “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” when referring to the boy who threw punches numerous times. Why don’t we take a minute to stop and think about his parents, about his siblings, his teammates, coaches, etc. People who were ultimately shaping this boys life up until this moment. How dare we point fingers i’m sure i’m not the only one who feels as if I’ve let loved ones down on more than one occasion and wish they didn’t have to deal with the consequences of my own actions. Our children see everything, they hear everything, and even mimic most things (whether we want to believe it or not). The behavior that is going on in this town on all sides is baffling and embarrassing. Words being thrown around, parents who don’t even have children in the school system pointing fingers because they want to be involved, gossiping everywhere like it’s a recreational game of telephone and we’re letting our children think this is appropriate behavior.
As for our children- what are we teaching them? That a girl who sent inappropriate pictures (doesn’t matter to who)is having her honor defended? Because that has got put on the back burner. To believe That one side and only one side only is completely innocent should be assumed bible? Yes violence should not have been involved. 1000%. But let’s all take a second to band together as a community and realize that yelling and accusing isn’t getting us anyone. Let’s take a day to not judge another parent, another child, another administrator.
I’ challenge all of you…let’s try to help each other, lift one another up. Put our trust in the justice system. Go a Day…maybe two with trying to see positive instead of negative. Go a day without checking every social media for the latest town gossip and basing our opinions off one side of the story. We will not get anywhere with the way things are going now. The children of this community are counting on each of us.
An observation presented by Carl Sagan may offer another way to view this situation as well as another way to deal with similar situations in future – it is a variation on the classic “Prisoner’s Dilemma”, and is purported to have the best outcome over time for all involved parties in any multi-party situation than all the Silver/Golden/Platinum/Bronze/Iron Rules:
https://sites.google.com/site/markshirey/ideas/golden-rule-and-prisoner-s-dilemma