A new school year brings anxiety for many kids
AUGUST 31, 2014 LAST UPDATED: SUNDAY, AUGUST 31, 2014, 1:21 AM
BY KARA YORIO
STAFF WRITER
THE RECORD
The child’s eyes well up and lip starts to quiver. The worried “what ifs” start almost immediately.
What if my teacher is mean?
What if Joey teases me?
What if the work is too hard?
What if nobody sits with me at lunch?
As a parent, instinct kicks in.
“Don’t be nervous, there’s nothing to worry about,” you tell her. “Everything’s going to be OK.”
For an anxious kid that’s exactly the wrong thing to say, according to licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist Lynn Lyons, who co-wrote the book, “Anxious Parents, Anxious Kids: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children.”
“The external reassurance is a quick fix but it doesn’t last,” said Lyons, who practices in New Hampshire. “The error that parents make is trying to tell kids that everything will be OK rather than equipping them with the skill to handle things when they’re not OK.”
This time of year, a lot of kids are getting nervous. The approach of Labor Day in North Jersey brings worried faces and frequent complaints of stomachaches.
“It is completely normal and expected for children to have a little bit of anxiety when starting the school year,” Pompton Plains licensed clinical psychologist Peter Berzins wrote in an email.
For some children, however, anxiety can be overwhelming. If a child consistently doesn’t want to go to school, can’t concentrate while there, avoids normal activities like birthday parties or the school bus, won’t sleep in his own bed, if there is a lot of distress, crying, stomachaches and headaches, it is time to seek professional help, according to Lyons and Berzins.
“Too much anxiety can lead to a slew of problems including trouble focusing at school and downright refusal to go to school,” wrote Berzins, founder of Birch Tree Psychology, who is an expert in treating anxiety disorder.
He agrees that downplaying a child’s concerns and telling them everything will be fine is the wrong way to deal with an anxious child — as is ignoring a kid’s issues with anxiety.
“Basically parents unknowingly lie to their kids because they wish everything would be all right,” he wrote. “But being honest with your kids and seeing them for who they are … anxious … worried … is the best strategy.”
– See more at: https://www.northjersey.com/news/education/professional-advice-on-kids-and-back-to-school-anxiety-1.1078626#sthash.57g0YSqv.dpuf
