photo by Ramon Hache
Parents are investing more and more time, money, and emotional effort into their kids’ sports — despite what the research shows is best for kids.
by: Kirsten Jones Neff | July 9, 2016
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A few years ago, when our youngest was 12, he waited for a pause in dinner conversation, then cleared his throat and told us that he did not want to play competitive sports anymore. For a moment, the family was stunned into silence.
Full disclosure: for the past decade, we’ve been that family, the one living and breathing our kids’ sports: driving cars full of cleated kids to remote, windblown corners of California to set up goals, sell cookies, shoot photos, run the clock, keep stats and even, yes, coach the teams. We’ve split up to attend different events and foregone family vacations to fly to other states for tournaments. Even as I write, I’m in the midst of organizing a trip to San Diego for my daughter’s high school lacrosse team.
Devotion to our children’s athletic endeavors has “paid off”: our oldest child competes on her university’s beach volleyball team, and our second was recruited to play college lacrosse. Because their sports required huge investments of time and money, my husband and I vowed to never get ahead of our children. They had to be eager to make sacrifices (miss school dances, family vacations, etc.) and at least appear thankful for our financial and logistical support. As it turned out, both daughters love their sports, despite the sacrifices involved. When our son began to play soccer, basketball, and lacrosse, we assumed the status quo: a yearly calendar jam-packed with sports priorities. It was jarring to hear he wasn’t happy. What did we do wrong?
