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New Jersey cheerleader, 12, dies in suspected suicide same day mother complained about bullying at school

New Jersey cheerleader, 12, dies in suspected suicide

Friends of a 12-year-old New Jersey cheerleader who died last week believe the young student committed suicide because she was bullied online.

The Morris County Prosecutor’s office said the death of Mallory Grossman was under investigation, but did not confirm whether she suffered from a fatal, self-inflicted wound, News 4 reported.

Relatives told the news station that Mallory’s mother complained to administrators at Copeland Middle School about the alleged cyberbullying hours before her daughter died.

Students at the Rockaway school on Monday sported light blue clothing in a call to stop bullying and a tribute to their dead classmate.

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/friends-nj-cheerleader-killed-bullies-article-1.3262947

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Ridgewood Superintendent of Schools Daniel Fishbein Comments on ,“13 Reasons Why”

13 Reasons Why

April 25, 2017 Dear Ridgewood Parent or Guardian:

As a father of five children, I admit to you that I have not always been able to monitor what my children watch on television. Even using the antiquated term television doesn’t aptly cover the shows and videos that our children “stream watch,” making it nearly impossible to monitor what they view.
For this and other reasons, we have included digital citizenship as part of our program of studies district wide, so that our children learn the importance of self-responsibility and good decision-making on issues of technology, the Internet and what they view in the media.
Over the past several days, I have received notifications from the New Jersey Youth Suicide Prevention Advisory Council and the National Association of School Psychologists concerning the March 31st Netflix release of the television drama series, “13 Reasons Why,” about a student who commits suicide. This series has become very popular with our teen youth.
Below is an excerpt from the notification from the New Jersey Youth Suicide Prevention Advisory Council: Perhaps you have heard that on March 31st Netflix released a new series called “13 Reasons Why.” If you are not aware of this, you should know that the youth you may come into contact with have most probably heard of it and may have already watched it. This series has become an instant attraction to young people. Across the country, youth are binge watching this series and are reacting to it with friends and on social media.
“13 Reasons Why” is a series about a young high school girl, Hannah, who takes her own life and sends out 13 cassette tapes to those whom she blames for her death. The series was adapted from a book of the same name. While the show is fictional, the series is extremely graphic and raises significant concerns about the emotional safety of those watching it – especially for those youth who may have had some experience with mental health issues, suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
We, at New Jersey’s Youth Suicide Prevention Advisory Council, want you to be aware of this series and how to provide some safety for youth around the show’s content and any feelings the show may be bringing up for them. In order to address these issues with teenagers we need to remember to ask about what they are feeling and seeing and we need to listen. While there are some very disturbing and graphic scenes and ideas, there are some strengths in the series that provide excellent opportunities to have a conversation about suicide prevention and how to protect yourself and your friends. We encourage parents to watch the series with their children and have these conversations openly rather than simply criticizing a series that most teens are already watching.
We have provided a handout from the National Association of School Psychologists which provides some excellent guidelines for discussion and response whether you are an educator, mental health professional, parent or youth. We encourage you to share these talking points, as well as the resources listed below, with anyone who has contact with youth including teachers, counselors, parents, etc. We understand that this material can be difficult and if you do not feel comfortable or if you are interested in further education on how to become a partner in youth suicide prevention, how to get additional suicide prevention education or training, or if you are in need of mental health support for yourself or others, we encourage you to reach out to the following resources.
The document from the National Association of School Psychologists referred to above has been shared with district administrators and counselors and is also attached here as important reading for parents and guardians. Also included below are some resources for further information on the responsible use of technology, mental health, and training and education.
It is also important to note that the Ridgewood Board of Education and Village of Ridgewood are active members of the Ridgewood Stigma Free initiative, comprised of community stakeholders who are dedicated to raising awareness of the disease of mental illness and creating a culture where residents who suffer from mental illness feel supported by our community to seek treatment without fear of stigma.
As May is “Mental Health Awareness” month, my colleagues all over Bergen County and across the state and country will be sharing information about mental health. Please look for my posts on my Twitter account @RWDSupt or on Facebook @RidgewoodPublicSchools.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter on a very serious and important issue.
Sincerely yours, Daniel Fishbein, Ed.D. Superintendent of Schools
Responsible Use of Technology Resources: Common Sense Media https://www.commonsensemedia.org
If you have not visited this website, I suggest you do so. It is dedicated to help all parents navigate the world of technology and keep us current on how our children use technology. Mental Health Resources: National Association of Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK NJ Hopeline: 1-855-NJ-HOPELINE (654-6735) 2nd Floor Youth Helpline: 888-222-2228 (call or text) West Bergen Mental Health: 201-485-7172 Training and Education Resources: Traumatic Loss Coalitions for Youth: 732-235-2810 (https://ubhc.rutgers.edu/tlc/)
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Reader suggests all Ridgewood Parents Watch “Not My Kid” video

Depression

“Not My Kid” (video)

Every concerned Ridgewood parent should click this link (or cut and paste into their internet browser) and watch the associated video when they have the opportunity:

https://www.sptsusa.org/not-my-kid/

New Jersey parents, it turns out, were at the cutting edge of this issue about the year 2006 and have apparently since moved from a New Jersey-centric approach to a nationwide scope.

Some great parent questions are addressed in this video, including “Shouldn’t we just be quiet about what happened so as to avoid putting ideas in our children’s heads?” and “My child’s classmate just committed suicide. How much more is he/she now at risk of doing the same thing?”.

We tragically lost Alex Modlin but now is no time to put our heads in the sand about the perennial problem of depression and teen suicide.

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Benjamin Franklin Middle School has a history of squarely addressing the issue of teen suicide in Ridgewood

BF_middle-school_theridgewoodblog

April 30,2016

the staff of the Ridgewood blog

Ridgewood NJ, BF has a history of squarely addressing the issue of teen suicide. Six years ago in the wake of the Clementi suicide BF hosted the following presentation (as mentioned on this blog on 10/4/2010). The Ridgewood district should probably host another such event at some point soon:

THIS Wednesday, October 6, [2010] 7:30 p.m., Benjamin Franklin Middle School Auditorium, 335 North Van Dien Avenue.

Parents, staff and adult community members are invited to this important presentation, given by Scott Fritz and Maureen Underwood of the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide. Scott Fritz is a father who lost a child to suicide, and a founder of the society. Maureen Underwood is a clinical social worker and nationally recognized expert in youth suicide prevention.This presentation is for adults only and will include an opportunity for questions.

For more information contact Dr. Fishbein’s office at (201) 670-2700, ext. 10530. Information about the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide can be found at https://www.sptsnj.org .