A BF Eighth Grader, Alex Modlin, Has Died (No Further Details Available Yet)
Comments:
Benjamin Franklin Middle School
Ridgewood Public Schools
335 N. Van Dien Ave.
Ridgewood, New Jersey 07450
“In the light of knowledge shines the key to the future.”
Anthony Orsini (201) 670-2780
Principal aorsini@ridgewood.k12.nj.us
April 24, 2016
Dear BF Community,
It is with great sadness that I share the news of the tragic loss Saturday night of 8th grader Alex Modlin.
Any time we lose a student we are deeply saddened and the news affects the entire BF Community. Adolescents deal with
tragedy in different ways. We encourage you to speak with your children about this news, and to answer questions according to
your own family beliefs.
We will have our Crisis Response Team available throughout the day and week for our students. In addition, if you have
particular concerns after speaking to your child, please email your child’s guidance counselor. Attached are some talking points
for parents to use when speaking to children about loss.
We will be cancelling the state PARCC testing for tomorrow, and students will report to homeroom to begin the day.
We are deeply saddened by the loss of Alex Modlin. Please join us in keeping Alex’s family in your thoughts and prayers.
Tony Orsini
Principal
Benjamin Franklin Middle School
It appears that almost all of the Benjamin Franklin Middle School students arrived at school today knowing nothing about the specific circumstances of this young man’s death.
Rest in Peace Alex. I am keeping the family in my thoughts and prayers.
8:12 – Why do the circumstances matter? Alex was a smart, friendly, and thoughtful child. Let’s focus on the good the child left in this world, not on how he left it.
9:25 am – AMEN!
yes… knowing the circumstances and celebrating the child are mutually exclusive…
we can’t do both.
Our prayers are with the family for this tragic loss.
just curious if this was criminal or illness related, don’t need to know details.
Maybe his death can help another student
does anybody know what happened?
12:59, 1:03, 1:26. It was illness related.
1:26 all we know is that it was tragic. Let’s respect the privacy of the family.
12:59. If you needed to know you would have been informed.
My heart is breaking for the family. They are in my prayers,
Go home tonight and hug your kids
Roger that 3:21. They need to know that no matter how discouraging things are, someone loves them.
Alex was a smart, friendly, nice child. My heart is breaking for the family.
Alex was a smart , friendly child. My heart is breaking for the family. They are on my prayers.
I didnt have the pleasure to know Alex but as a parent my heart goes out to his friends, family and loved ones. What terrible news.
The circumstances of his death are important for all of us in the community to know.
The family needs their privacy, of course. But I think maybe the reason people want to know is that it’s part of processing grief. Knowing what happened helps us to perhaps gain some spiritual insight — into the human condition, and into ourselves. The community feels vulnerable when this happens, as in “can this happen to my child?” By knowing the cause, we can at least put some constraints on our own imaginations. It’s not about blame or shame or anything. It’s just the mind needing to find some kind of understanding. It’s human nature to want to fill in the blanks, and I guess we have to work against our own human nature to some degree because the family’s privacy right now is more important than our own needs at this time.
Listen to your kids. Hug them and tell them you love them.
So well said Linda.
I think you can figure out the cause of death. It is the family’s right but at the same time it is helpful for the community to know in terms of going forward and preventing further tragedies via outreach and education.
The school is asking me to speak to my child (who attends BF), but I don’t know what conversation to have? Is it a conversation about drug abuse, suicide, long term illness……My son is very upset, but other then speaking to him about grief and sadness, I am unable to answer any of this questions. As a parent I feel very helpless in helping my child.
I think Ridgewood schools are handling this situation very poorly. if they have Crisis Respond Team, why don’t they explain to kids what happened? I am sure as a trained professionals, they would be able to talk without disclosing gruesome details, but at the same time putting crazy rumors to rest and easing kid’s anxieties. I am disappointed in school’s lock of respond. It shows how unprepared they are in case of any tragedy.
The act we don’t have the heart to name for the moment tends to rip through the social fabric of small communities like Ridgewood in a specific and brutal way. To deny this natural fact is to place the remainder of our children at unnecessary peril, to say nothing of insulting their intelligence. If young Alex Modlin actually did what some are suggesting he did, that shocking circumstance eventually must be discussed, separately, and publicly, in order for us to begin addressing the resultant damage to the spiritual and moral well-being of the village as a whole. The professional administrators of the Ridgewood district, for their part, should try to avoid cutting this important discussion short, improperly limiting its scope, or channeling it in a predetermined direction based on expert advice.
The rumor is that it is being kept quiet because bullying was involved.
i guess the principal saying the rabbi will be discussing suicide at the funeral for students and faculty is a clue?
He committed suicide
to say knowing the details is none of the communities business is pure ignorance. We forget that Ridgewood had a suicide problem in the 70s. Not talking about it can lead to something like that again which nobody wants to relive.
A blog is not the place for these discussions. Go to the parents meeting. Ask your kids what was discussed at school.
Under the guise of helping their kids some adults ars just seeking the details of a child’s life. Call your school if you need help. You don’t need the details to support your children. Sek professional help for your kids if you are unable to do this.
Where Brogan?
Hard to have a discussion if you don’t know what to discuss.
I think in light of all the speculation, the story should be released. Otherwise there will be all kinds of unnecessary rumors circulating. Prayers for the family; just heartbreaking
the unspoken rumor is now confirmed in message from school principal: https://theridgewoodblog.net/services-for-benjamin-franklin-middle-school-student-alex-modlin/
It is confirmed suicide
No feelings of unbearable pain of the mother were respected. She, who wanted to bury her son and cry for him in private, was subjected to having to withstand the Hollywood production of the suicide prevention lecture over her child’s coffin. The school ( that knew it was a divorce situation and did not even bother to contact the mom), together with that disputable human being for a rabbi( who turned this tragedy into a theatrical performance for himself) and her ex husband organized this outrageous ceremony behind her back and she was only informed of it a day before the funeral. Doubled with sorrow, deaf and blind from grief, she was not even capable of resisting at that time. Having been put before the fact and knowing that her other child will be present, she had no choice but to attend this 2 act show with intermission, when her heart was overflowing with blood and her soul and bones were twisted with pain.
For the rest of her life she will remember that the chance of being able to bury her son the way she felt was right and appropriate for her to be able to carry on somehow, was taken away, because of the selfishness and insensitivity of the named above directors of the act.