Lilith Starr, a devil’s advocate in every sense, is in a rush to get her After School Satan Club started.
As founder of the Satanic Temple of Seattle, she’s under pressure from national satanic headquarters — located in the Colonial witch trials city of Salem, Mass. — to launch a counter-strike strike against grade school Christianity by opening an after-school Satan Club.
“I think many people have the misunderstanding that we are some kind of tongue-in-cheek troll group,” said Starr, 44, a Harvard grad who sometimes dresses in church robes and, when circumstances demand, paints her lips and part of her face black.
“But in reality we are a very serious religion, with our own shared narrative, culture and symbols, a code of ethics — our Seven Tenets — and worship in the form of activism.”
They don’t hold their kids back because they are young, small or not ready.
They hold them back because they want their kid to be the oldest, largest, and most socially and athletically dominant child in their class. They want to make sure their kid is always the Louisville Slugger, and never the ball.
Nothing like setting your kid up to hit their peak in life sometime in middle school!
There’s a reason kids are more anxious and depressed than ever.
Posted Jan 26, 2010
Rates of depression and anxiety among young people in America have been increasing steadily for the past 50 to 70 years. Today, by at least some estimates, five to eight times as many high school and college students meet the criteria for diagnosis of major depression and/or anxiety disorder as was true half a century or more ago. This increased psychopathology is not the result of changed diagnostic criteria; it holds even when the measures and criteria are constant.
The most recent evidence for the sharp generational rise in young people’s depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders comes from a just-released study headed by Jean Twenge at San Diego State University.[1] Twenge and her colleagues took advantage of the fact that the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI), a questionnaire used to assess a variety of mental disorders, has been given to large samples of college students throughout the United States going as far back as 1938, and the MMPI-A (the version used with younger adolescents) has been given to samples of high school students going as far back as 1951. The results are consistent with other studies, using a variety of indices, which also point to dramatic increases in anxiety and depression—in children as well as adolescents and young adults—over the last five or more decades.
For many parents, the most traumatic family battles are fought at the very place which should be a place of harmony and connection: the dinner table.
The bad news is that those dinnertime battles are often the result of food habits that parents have unconsciously established.
The good news, however, is that those habits can be reversed.
In her book French Kids Eat Everything, Karen Le Billon lays out 10 food practices her family discovered while living in France. The results were life-changing, and now Le Billon’s children are fans of everything from beets to mackerel. The 10 food rules are summarized below:
My wife and I are among the only 28% of parents today who make their children do chores. And, like many children when forced to do undesirable work, ours do their fair share of complaining and dawdling.
In these moments, the reminder we frequently give them is this: “It’s not your job to play.”
Perhaps to some this sounds harsh. After all, the idea that they have a special mandate for play and “free time” is exactly what our current society communicates to children. From the moment they first exit the womb, America’s youth are surrounded by a constantly updated slew of toys and devices for entertainment. They very quickly learn that adults primarily require that they play and do what they want, which these days usually means screen time. The average child now spends over six hours in front of a screen each day.
Even now in school—which most of history deemed a very “un-fun” place—it’s expected that teachers will make the curriculum appropriately engaging and that plenty of activities (read: useless assemblies and fairs) and time for socialization will be provided.
It’s a done deal. I watched the Board of ED meeting last night and they said that currently 71 percent of parents pick up their kids from kindergarten and drive them to another day half day program. If those parents vote, the full day program will be implemented.
I think, not positive, that they said the cost to taxpayers would be about a little over $100 a year for each household.
I am not for it. They said kids get to more time for unstructured make believe play, imaginative play and socialization in the full day program.
I believe that unstructured make believe time should occur in a quiet setting where the imagination and creativity can best be free to roam without interruption and noise from a roomful of other kids.
As far as socialization is concerned , it happens folks just by living in a family, even if you are an only child. I mean hey, kids don’t live in that Emma Donaghue(spelling) Room (novel)setting. But if that’s what life is like with working mothers, that is the way it is going to be.
I sure wouldn’t want some teacher over my head while playing with my dolls and puppets. I remember being happy to come home after kindergarten and make up my own world. Try telling that to the types who teach young kids nowadays….ha ha ha. Real rigid unimaginative types with stereotypical ideas. By the way, I would love to read my first grade report card to the teachers who want full day kindergarten , after having only a half day of kindergarten before first grade. It is from 1949 and says how independent I was, that I didn’t need any prodding to do an assignment and that I loved to share my experiences with the class. We had sharing time. I had one sibling four years younger. So really no playing with a one year old. No pets at that time. A mother at home, a father working outside the home.
Is it time for parents to return to a position of loving but firm authority figures?
Annie Holmquist | April 14, 2016
Several months ago, Dr. Leonard Sax made headlines when he proposed that the lack of discipline we see in America today is simply the surface symptom of a greater problem: the decline of parental authority.
Dr. Sax’s theories were recently underscored by psychologist Lisa Damour in a New York Times piece on the benefits of family dinner time. Although the benefits of family dinners are regularly touted, Ms. Damour wonders how they produce such positive effects when a family often sits down exhausted to a silent and non-interactive meal together. Her answer is thought-provoking:
Ridgewood NJ, The symptoms associated with attention-deficit-hyperactivity disorder can put even the best parenting skills to the test.
Children and teenagers with ADHD don’t listen, or at least don’t seem to listen. They often fail to complete tasks, whether it’s a school assignment or a household chore. They can be impulsive, hitting a sibling or classmate when they feel frustrated, or failing to wait their turn when playing a game.
As a spotlight is put on the condition during October, which is ADHD Awareness Month, it’s worth noting that the disorder has an impact on the parents as well as the offspring.
Irritated by repeated undesirable behaviors, mothers and fathers may lash out, dealing more harshly with infractions than they should. Later, feeling guilty because of their overreaction, the parents may allow the child to get away with other misbehaviors.
Then tension builds again until once more the peeved parents explode and begin feeling guilty about their reactions all over again.
“It’s important to break that cycle of guilt when dealing with the ADHD child,” says Daniel Amen, M.D., a clinical neuroscientist and brain-imaging expert who also is the founder of Amen Clinics (www.amenclinics.com), which treat patients at six locations around the country.
“The best way to do that is to deal with difficult behavior whenever it occurs and not allowing the tension to build up. Retraining difficult behavior patterns is an essential part of the treatment for ADD.”
Amen, author of “Healing ADD” and the New York Times bestseller “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” says there are steps parents can take that will help shape positive behavior in a child with ADD/ADHD and help the parent avoid those guilty feelings.
• Define the desired and undesirable behaviors.Before you can shape behavior, you need to be clear on what behaviors you want and don’t want, Amen says. A desirable behavior might be doing homework before going out to play. An undesirable behavior might be talking back to a parent. • Establish how often negative or positive behavior occurs. Keep a log for anywhere from a week to a month to track how many times a behavior occurs. Having a baseline will allow you to know whether your interventions are having an effect. • Communicate rules and expectations clearly. When children know what is expected of them, they are much more likely to do it. Too often, Amen says, parents believe children should know how to act without the rules being clearly communicated. • Reward desired behavior. Once clear expectations are given, it’s essential to reward the behavior that meets expectations. Rewards can be such things as verbal praise, a hug, a small present, a trip to the library or park, and even money. • Administer clear, unemotional consequences for negative behavior. Be in control of your emotions, don’t nag or belittle the child, and use logical consequences. For example, if a child refuses to put away his or her toys, the toys could be taken away for a few days.
Having a good relationship with the child is perhaps the most important factor, Amen says.
“With a good parent-child relationship, almost any form of discipline will work,” he says. “With a poor parent-child relationship, any form of discipline will probably fail. Relationships require two things: time and a willingness to listen.”
About Daniel Amen, M.D.
Daniel Amen, M.D., (www.amenclinics.com) is a clinical neuroscientist and brain imaging expert who heads Amen Clinics, which are located in Orange County, Calif., Atlanta, San Francisco, New York City, Washington, D.C., and the Seattle area. He has written numerous books, including “Healing ADD” and “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life.” Dr. Amen also has appeared as a guest on such TV shows as “The View” and was a consultant for the movie “Concussion.”
It’s Not #CreepyClowns that Parents Should be Worried About
There’s been a lot of talk about creepy clown sightings these days. It’s true. Recently in both North and South Carolina, there have been reported sightings of, for lack of a better term, creepy clowns prowling around neighborhoods, scaring children. Some reports claim that these clowns could be a publicity stunt while others claim that these people have a much more sinister intent, which is supported by reports of some attempting to lure kids closer with money.
Well, we know that there are a lot of good, hard-working clowns right here in Jersey. Heck, you might even work with one or two (wink). Of course, it’s probably their part-time job, unless you all work for a circus. With that being said, we’re happy to report no suspicious or creepy clown activity here in Jersey
But these recent event gives us an opportunity to talk about safety tips that you can give your kids. After all, the kids are back in school, which means many are walking to and from home. You see, a scary-looking clown beckoning children closer may be all that is needed to have your child do the right thing, which is to walk in the other direction. It’s the unassuming person, man or woman, who your child should be wary of. Here are some tips:
*Talk to your kids
*Tell them who they can expect to come and get them in an emergency (family member or close friend)
*When walking to school, there is strength in numbers—walk in a group
*Never get into a stranger’s car
*Keep a safe distance from strangers asking for directions or help
*Tell your kids to yell, scream and kick if grabbed by a stranger
*Look around, stop looking for Pokemon—be aware of your surroundings
*If a stranger claims to be a cop but is not in uniform, kids should find a trusted adult
Let’s talk about that last tip for a minute. Are your kids familiar with the faces of the local police? Don’t just rely on the cops visiting schools. Drop by a station anytime to have your kids meet the troops or local police who patrol your area! It’s a great way get to know the troops and for the troops to get to know you and your kids!
For all of the coulrophobics out there, we apologize for the pic, but it was necessary. Sadly, at the end of the day, if all of the bad people out there stuck out as much as a person dressed as a clown, we wouldn’t have write posts like this.
Ridgewood NJ, a new event has been launched via Facebook, “On Nov 8th, Say NO to full day K.” encouraging voters to reject the Full Day Kindergarten .
“Ridgewood schools have over 100 Million $ ANNUAL budget. They can raise the taxes upto 2% without your vote, without your agreement. The Board of Ed has to put a question on November ballot and ask the tax payers only if they have to raise the taxes by more than 2%. If they cannot accommodate full day K with 2 Million ANNUAL increase, please don’t approve full day K. Vote “NO” for the Full-day-K question in November. Don’t give them the power to increase our taxes above and beyond 2% which they can do without our vote. Once it’s increase, every year they can add 2% on TOP of that, without your approval. On Nov 8th, Say NO to full day K. – Vote NO on question 2.”
Ridgewood NJ, Ever since Nintendo made the Pokemon Go video-game app available, young people have been exploring their communities with their eyes firmly fixed on their smartphones rather than on the wonders of the world.
If endless hours spent capturing imaginary creatures seems like an electronic addiction, it very well may be, but that’s nothing new. Many children have been plugged into electronic devices for a long time now, rarely looking up as they help virtual animals save the day, keep race cars on track and watch endless loops of videos on YouTube.
And that can be a concern, says Elaine Fogel Schneider, Ph.D., a therapist and author of “7 Strategies for Raising Calm, Inspired & Successful Children” (www.askdrelaine.com).
“They are so attached to technology at such an early age and it’s changing their brain circuitry,” Schneider says. “They begin to lose the back and forth communication with their parents, and/or siblings, and the whole notion of empathy. For really young children, these devices have become the babysitter. I fully understand that parents need a break (as do grandparents), but there have to be limits.”
Schneider has tips for parents who worry about how they can control their child’s electronic pastime.
• Set rules. Limit the amount of time your child can spend on an electronic device and be consistent in enforcing those rules. This way your child knows that when you say he or she only has two minutes left, then there really is only two minutes left, not three or four hours. • Use a timer. A timer does not “lie” and can take the blame away from you when you’re limiting your child’s time on the device. Use the timer that measures down the time your child is spending on the tablet, smartphone, and/or technological game, so that your child knows the end for using that device is approaching, and it won’t be a surprise when time is up. You can even have your child select a tone on the smartphone that he or she likes. • Be ready with another activity. Plan an alternative way of engaging your child so when the device is turned off, some other interest can be provided and take his or her mind off the electronic device. “Describe what you’re going to do so the child’s interest is piqued into doing something else that he or she enjoys,” Schneider says. • Use these tips in your home at first. As with everything, at first there’s a learning curve, so there may be tantrums, tears, melt downs and even depression. That’s why Schneider recommends following these tips at home first. “I wouldn’t think of trying this out in public right away since I don’t think you want to endure the wrath or glances of diners or shoppers as they hear your child scream,” Schneider says. In time, though, the child will know what is expected, she says, and will be able to disconnect from a smartphone, tablet, or other electronic device without major meltdowns.
“In the long run, you’re doing a service for your child by limiting the amount of time spent on an electronic device,” Schneider says. “I can remember hearing my own mother’s words, ‘I’m doing this for your own good!’ And that’s really true.”
About Elaine Fogel Schneider, Ph.D.
Elaine Fogel Schneider, author of the Amazon bestseller “7 Strategies for Raising Calm, Inspired & Successful Children” (www.askdrelaine.com), is one of the country’s leading authorities on touch therapy, and founder of Baby Steps, preparing young children for educational readiness and providing parent coaching. As a sought-after speaker and trainer, she offers interactive presentations and workshops for educators, parents and healthcare professionals.
Ridgewood NJ, Any good parent wants to raise happy, well-adjusted children, but the way they go about often undermines that goal.
“As a rabbi, I’ve watched a lot of parents over the years,” says Rabbi Roger Herst, author of “A Simple Formula for Raising Happy Children” (www.rogerherst.com). “Many of them don’t seem to be achieving what they want for their children. They try hard, they mean well, yet they still miss the mark.”
But it doesn’t have to be that way, he says.
“For one thing, parents who think they are being good parents by barking orders are kidding themselves,” Herst says. “Kids don’t listen, they imitate. Think of how instruction is done in the animal world. Animals show their offspring about life skills, they don’t tell them.”
Herst says a few other techniques parents can use on the way to raising happy children include:
• Give children decision-making opportunities whenever possible. Never make a decision for children that they reasonably can make for themselves. “Parents who make decisions unilaterally rob children of the opportunity to practice the art of making good choices,” Herst says.
• Let children make mistakes. This might seem counterintuitive in terms of happiness. Most people, after all, don’t feel happy when they make a mistake. But when you allow children to make mistakes they learn that their actions have consequences, so over the long haul they become more confident in their decision-making abilities.
• Delegate responsibility to children. Put them in charge of household chores and let them take responsibility for their actions. By assigning a responsible job to a child, the parent is saying that the child will perform in a mature way, Herst says.
• Provide children with pleasant experiences. Too often, parents have a set of convictions about what a child should do, not what the child might want to do and enjoy. But children, like adults, enjoy repeating pleasant, gratifying and successful experiences, while avoiding unpleasant ones. So parents should take steps to make sure special experiences for a child are pleasant and rewarding.
Herst says it’s important that parents start early in taking steps to raise happy children who will grow into happy adults.
“Once a youngster has progressed through puberty into adolescence, most of the parenting work is already finished,” Herst says. “If a good foundation hasn’t been built by then, it’s probably too late.”
About Roger E. Herst
Roger E. Herst, author of “A Simple Formula for Raising Happy Children” (rogerherst.com), is an ordained Reform rabbi with MBA and doctorate degrees. A father and grandfather, Herst regularly engages with parents in the form of Platonic dialogue – a cooperative Q-&-A approach meant to stimulate critical thinking – to yield logic-based solutions for raising happy children.
Children just need time to grow and mature like I did. We live in the worst age possible for children. God bless em.
They say the 1950s was a conformist time. No way. That was a great time for kids. THE BEST.
Nowadays everyone diagnosing the fun and life and desire for adventure out of kids and nothing being wrong.
And so-called specialists who don’t know what they are talkin about with their fancy, meaningless psyhobabble, nowadays diagnosing the kids and squeezing the spirit and life out of kids.
The 1950s was great time for kids; I remember being left alone to play after school in untrammeled nature with any friends I wanted to ,; no forced , rigid play dates. God, if I had been a child now , I would have been diagnosed with every ADHD and autism label they make up.
“Autism Spectrum” fancy that, that is enogh to kill the creative lively spirit out of a growing chid. or ADHD and the rest.
No wonder there are so many teen suicides. By that time their spirit is dead, they no longer can respond to life , because they were not allowed to naturally respond. They were made to be walking zombies.
We live in a greedy, robotic world, with stupid so-called educator specialists trying to trap lively, imaginative, kids who want to run run run and explore outside, trap them in stifling all day kindergarten.
I remember myself at that age. Fun and freedom that’s what I craved. Even now..
Ridgewood NJ, Somerville, Hawes and Travell parents: please try to attend one or more of the remaining Valley expansion hearings. There are maybe 5 elementary school parents here tonight, and this massive construction plan will affect our children the most over the next decade and beyond in terms of pollution, noise and nonstop truck traffic back and forth in front of Benjamin Franklin Middle School.
As we move closer to full-day kindergarten, we need to look at developmentally appropriate practices. Young children thrive in an environment that fosters their way of learning. That means that they need to handle objects; feel textures; talk with one another while they explore an idea; count objects that they hold; play with one another; and express themselves through art, music, and P.E.
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